Today I laid to rest my sweet dog after 15 years of shared love & adventures. As I acknowledged her time was coming to an end, yet before making that final decision, I caught myself focusing on the idea that "I didn't make enough time to brush her." I made time to sit and brush her on her last full day on this earth and yet I was saddened that I hadn't done this more.
I am thankful to say that I caught myself in the habit shared by many human beings all over this globe of thinking I'm not enough. These thoughts sneak in around numerous aspects of my life. "I'm not strong enough, smart enough, organized enough, etc." We all have our own personal lists of "not enoughs" we often secretly work to hide from others.
After acknowledging this thought process, I made a clear decision to stop believing such a thought. Instead, I reflected on all the ways that I did provide enough love, exercise, good food, affection, kisses on the head, attention, etc. It gave me a whole different feeling and allowed a much better experience of my final hours with a dog I loved so dearly.
Well said...I struggle with this on a daily basis not being in AVL with my little guy for the past 2 yrs. I know I am here in FL for a purpose, but that still doesn't take away the quilt for not seeing that sweet face as much as I want to. Thanks for sharing this and putting things into perspective.
ReplyDeleteOh Shanna, what a hard thing we humans have to experience with losing our dear 4-legged ones. There is no other pain like it. Your words are very moving - and such a tribute to Hoka. Thank you for sharing your awareness around it - I plan to incorporate that shift into my moments of "I am not enough!"
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